Sam Corner's Tourist Guide to a week in York.
08:45
Welcome to York! My home city, and probably the most beautiful city in the country. And why shouldn't it be? If you haven't been to York at all before, I'm going to give you the rundown of the most interesting things to do and the most weird and peculiar things to see. It'll be done in the form of a week's plan, of course you don't have to apply this structure to your week, but to get the best out of York, I'd advise taking in everything.
Monday - I'm assuming you've just got in? Well when you're done fooling around at the hotel, I'd advise a trip to Clifford's Tower. In my opinion, it's the most beautiful and interesting landmark in the city. It'll only cost you an arm and a leg to go in and see a nice view from up the top of the tower for about 10 mins, then by the time you get down you'll be a good £50 into your budget, depending how many of you there are. Do a bit of shopping if you want and then hit the town for tea. It's half price Monday's most places and Revolution is probably the best option since it's nice food but costs a bomb, so get down to there. Next door is CityScreen, which also do a Monday deal on cinema tickets. Probably not a thing for tourists but I think £7 is a bloody good deal for a good film in a good cinema.
Tuesday - You're a day in and someone in the group is asking to go to Betty's... NO! You can wait, because today you're off to the Minster. It's pretty cool, another one of York's highlights. That being said, you can kiss your money away if you want to go to the top... it's a nice view but you already got a good one at the Tower yesterday so stop pushing your luck. Head for some lunch at... NO NOT BETTY'S at maybe Nandos or something because you want to see if the chicken tastes different in another city... (you don't really, you just want Nandos, I know your game.)
Wednesday - Wow Wednesday already? Your week is getting on but nope, Betty's can still wait, because today you're off to Diagon Alley, urm wait no sorry the Shambles. Be careful not to trip over on the cobbles, it's a little disorientating. There is actually a Harry Potter shop here, so give that a look at if you're into it. Have some lunch in one of the streets many cafes (I don't rate any of them) then gander round the market. By the evening you're all fancying a drink or so, so head on down to Yates Wednesday Pound a Pint. Yeah. Yates. Get surrounded by the city's scum and villainy and drink yourself to happiness, because at this point, Carlsberg is your only saviour.
Thursday - Hangover must be killing, right? Oh well, today is important because you're going to National Railway Museum, which is completely free to get in. But when you sit down for lunch and see you're bill, you'll realise why. And just to see a couple of trains that are so big it'll take you ages to walk around one of them - I'm sure you'll get very bored. If it's a sunny day I recommend the Museum Gardens afterwards. There's a dandy Museum here with lots of lobotomised animals in, a bit of fun for everyone! Have a sunbathe and be harassed by kids all you like, and when you're done I'd just head back to the hotel and sleep. The Carlsberg is hitting hard.
Friday - Friday! The hangover is gone, and you're ready for a weekend of mediocre paced drinking... but first the day has come! Nope, not Betty's, but the Art Gallery. Wait what? There's one person in your group who really wants to go, so you go, hoping that the day will go fast for those drinks later. Thankfully it does, and you go back to the hotel getting ready for the evening. Your first port of call should be Evil Eye, a cocktail bar that'll melt your mind with its dozens of concoctions and expensive prices. You're about four drinks in and then everyone starts to go back, because they'd rather party tomorrow night. Wait, what? But you just got here! You've paid all this money for Mangover's and everyone wants to go? For crying out loud.
Saturday - So you're hoping everyone sticks to their word tonight for a mad one in town. Will that be the case? We shall see. Today is shopping day, and I'd recommend going to Give The Dog A Bone on Walmgate. I'm not taking the mickey, this is genuinely a place you should go. You've passed the same homeless man you saw the past few days but this time he's got a suit on (they work in shifts round here in York). As the evening comes you see Hen parties with the usual inflatable penis's thinking they're funny (be original ladies) and you know drinking time is coming. Tonight, you should hit Dusk, Stone Roses, Lowther and if you're feeling lucky, try the club Kuda but be warned - it can be absolute trash if you're not drunk enough. Then again it's your last night, try and enjoy yourself.
Sunday - It's the last day and you just want to be off, but you know that today, Betty's, finally, is the must. You're hungover again and just want to get an early train back but you soon end up in the endless line of people in the rain waiting to get their overpriced tea, coffee and macaroons. You don't like any of that, but an hour later there you are sat eating generic cakes that you could probably get better ones from your local Tesco. When you're done you head to train station with these thoughts: well, it's still a nice city, even though you're well into your overdraft. I'd suggest Beverly next time.
0 comments